Snow
by Demoness99
Summary: People say that snow is beautiful, falling snow even more. Looking out into the night, Luka finally understands what they mean. Or at least he had found his own way of looking at the "beauty" of it. Snow, like many other things, reminds him of Yuki. Not any moment in particular, just, Yuki. Oneshot. Between Yuki's death as a female and being reborn as a male.


People say that snow is beautiful, falling snow even more. Looking out into the night, Luka finally understands what they mean. Or at least he had found his own way of looking at the "beauty" of it. Snow, like many other things, reminds him of Yuki. Not any moment in particular, just, Yuki.

Yuki…

She is like falling snow. Pure, gentle and beautiful. As she falls she pulls Luka along, unintentionally as it may be.

Yuki could be an angel. An angel with big white wings. If she falls she'd be able to keep flying in an instant. Sometimes with the help of Luka. Sometimes not. Yet, she is destined to be chained down, unable to fly freely.

The silence of the night is soothing, but lonely. Luka reaches out his hand. The moment the snowflakes touch it they melt. Soon, the melted snow gathers and his palm is wet. The drops almost look like tears, glimmering in the moonlight. Luka tips his hand slightly and watches the transparent liquid drop onto the ground. One drop. Two drops. Three drops. They sink into the snow and leave holes. Holes that are filled with new flakes in seconds.

Instead of letting his hand fall to his side he continues holding it out, collecting snowflakes. He closes his eyes, remembering a night like this in the past. Just a few years after he joined the "enemy" side.

_"It's snowing," Yuki states with a smile. "Isn't it beautiful?" she asks, not needing to look to know it was Luka who entered her room. Luka gave a slight smile._

_"Yeah." he wasn't looking out the window like she was, but at Yuki herself. "Very beautiful." Yuki turned slightly to find Luka staring at her. She gave a light laugh and patted the space next to her, inviting him to sit with her. He did as she asked._

_"You know," she started, leaning her head on his shoulder. "My name, Yuki, means snow." Luka pressed a light kiss on her head. _

_"Is that so."__  
_

Luka could almost feel Yuki's hand in his. Only it is cold, like it was just before she died. Behind Luka's eyelids he can see the smiling face of Yuki. It is carved in. Something he'll never forget. Even if it is just for a little while he wants to see that warm smile, accompanied by a just as warm gaze. More than enough to melt his frozen heart over and over. It's moments like these he wishes to lose himself in his memories. Not those of infernus but those of Yuki, and of Yuki alone. That is all he wants. All he needs.

It seems as if the snow is listening to his wish, because it starts to fall faster, more. So that the snowflakes pile upon each other in his palm before melting. He doesn't have to open his eyes to see it. He rather keeps them closed so that he can imagine Yuki there with him. Smiling, and warming. Is it okay for him to be like this, he wonders. Is it okay to remember? To relive pain, but also love? Questions like these fill his head.

Surely it cannot be. It cannot be okay to long this much for someone...? It is hard, though. It is hard not to feel that way. Like being consumed by sorrow and longing all at once. The coldness of the snow only cools the outside, the inside however, burns with emotion.

Luka lets out a sigh. He doesn't want to let go of all those memories, of Yuki.

If only he'd died with her, a quiet voice says in the back of his head. Yuki will be reborn, but he will not. What good would it do? Even if Yuki would not love him anymore, he would still stay at her side.

He opens his eyes, looking out in the distant. The night is coming to an end. The sky is changing color. From black into lighter blue. Soon he needs to go see Takashiro. Perhaps he'll go tomorrow, or the day after, but right now. Today, all he wants to do is remember. To live in the past known as Yuki's arms.


End file.
